Saturday, June 13, 2009

Bear Ham


Last week the fridge was rumbling and groaning something awful. So before calling the Sear's Repairman, I thought I'd take a peek at her. Well, of course, the freezer is packed to the gills. No wonder she can't breathe. So I decided to CLEAN THE FREEZER. There are few things so frightening in this world or the next. A few chicken carcasses here, a big bone of who knows what there, some fugitive pates and tupperwaresful of God knows what leftover muck. Tossed it all. And then, what dost mine eyes behold? The lower half of the bear's leg that I sawed off and froze some months ago!

When life gives you a bear's lower leg? Make ham. So I cured this with salt, brownsugar, nitrites, some warm slices like clove. Left it for a week in the fridge and gave it a two hour cold smoke on mesquite just now. And I am HOPING, beyond all hope, that a few weeks in the cellar will dry it out and make it a proper ham.

Did I dream that there was such a thing as bear ham?

8 comments:

Gary Allen said...

How come you find pieces of large carnivores when clean out the freezer? When I cleaned my fridge this week, all I found was thirty-odd condiments from around the world and half of a chocolate rabbit.

Gary Allen said...

Some editor I am... let's try that again:

How is it that you find pieces of large carnivores when you clean out the freezer?

When I cleaned MY fridge this week, all I found were thirty-odd condiments and the lower half of a chocolate rabbit.

Ken Albala said...

Senor, I got those things too. Or maybe it was a chocolate covered real rabbit. All the same.

As they say, what goes in, must come out. Spinning wheel got to go round....

Robert said...

Where did the bear leg come from originally? I bet it'll make good ham . . .

Lo said...

I can't BEAR missing how this tale ends. Please, keep us posted.

dinner jackets said...

look so tasty! I want to experience eating that ham.

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