This little piggie went to market

Ave porcina, herbarum plena, cocta pro nobis!

How this came to pass I can't quite say. Christine asks if I'd like to cook, and next thing I know there a little piggie in the backyard, with the sweetest face. Christine tells me the farm was lovely and the pigs ran around very happily.

Alas, she did not fit on my spit, and too long for the fireplace. Nor was there enough time to dig a pit. So it had to be the oven. And she filled the entire space. Not so little of piggie, over 30 pounds!

I marinated her in lime, chilies, onion, cilantro and cumin. And a beer. Then just popped her in the oven for about 4 hours. And the flavor was truly surprising. Delicate, light. More like turkey than any pork I've tasted. Good, unctuous and moist turkey. But definitely a white meat. The skin was crackly too, yummy crunchy ears, and I even got some tail.

And the company, as always, marvellous. The Hoodies polished off maybe half. Any ideas for leftovers? I wonder if the head can be made into testa after roasting.

Canapes

I think canapes are utterly underrated. A variety of savories such as these could make up a whole meal. These are crispy squares of polenta, with sauteed broccoli rabe (my favorite vegetable), grated parmiggiano topped with freshly smoked scallops. Worked very nicely because just the right combination of crisp and toothsome and chewy. And just a few bites in each.

It was the starter to a meal that got a bit out of hand, not in terms of taste, but in time spent in the kitchen. It was worth it. A whole wheat and flax seed bread, a roasted veg medley of parsnips, yellow beets, fennel and shallots. And a bizarre chicken experiment that tasted utterly luscious, but didn't quite look as I wanted it yet. Basically it was two chickens skinned, then completely boned, the meat seasoned and rewrapped in the skins so it looks like one chicken, but is solid and boneless. It was really bizarre cutting through actually. Oh, and the bones were made into a nice stock. It's the solution for how to get everything out a chicken at once. The only problem thus far is without bones it has no internal structure to keep it chicken shaped. So it looked like a flattened chicken. With 4 wings!

Then to top it off our friends brought 9, yes 9, ducks. Tiny little things. Which I hacked Chinese style across the breast with the bone in, into 3 or 4 pieces, and threw on the fire, a few others into a pot to see what would happen. Actually I think they all over cooked a bit. Tought and a little livery. But I have two left. If anyone has experience cooking a teeny wild duck, please let me know. I'm assuming it really should be very rare, but I've never cooked wild ducks before.

A lovely apple pie to end. Whole wheat pastry flour crust, green pippins with cranberries and walnuts. It was fab. And now I'm exhausted.

Enchilada Man

For Christmas, I became a superhero. This was illustrated by my neighbor Paul, the story taken directly from an enchilada post here, back in February. If I can figure out a way to scan it all properly, I'll put it up. But meanwhile I like this last one especially.

Bear Butt

It is such a long story, but behold the glorious roasted rear end of a bear. She was quite small and had a very sweet face. I had the chance to pet her head, albeit frozen. This rear thigh, which I sawed off from the lower leg, turned out to be seriously tasty. I thought, actually my co-author Rosanna and I thought, the simplest roasting on a bed of vegetables would be best. The flesh was a bit tough, but tasty. The accretions of fat, however, which I suppose were laid on in expectation of hibernation, were so incredibly flavorful, unctuous, and sweet, that they were dizzying. I wish I had rendered some on its own for pemmican. In any case, bear is really nothing like venison or other wild beasts, because it is truly greasy, in the best way imaginable. Sides of mashed sweet potato and brussels sprouts cut from the stalk, such opulence! Does it get more exciting than this???

Italian Vintners Using Secret Ingredient

News Flash (literally) The International Wine Trade Commission has recently issued a report citing that certain Italian Vintners have begun using a secret ingredient to fortify their wines. Marketed under the label "Sbuffo di Fica" the new wine has been subjected to scientific tests which show traces of human pheromones and aromatic esters. Pictured here is the first shot of the new fortification technique. An entire naked woman is inserted into the wine barrel, and her body is vigorously rubbed into the oak staves for an unspecified length of time, sometimes as little as 5 minutes, but others suggest it may take as long as a full half hour. The resulting perfume left in the wine is said to drive men wild. Commissioners are now trying to decide if this constitutes unfair trade practices, adulteration, or is merely a harmless flavor additive, once transmitted into the wine during the time-honored stomping procedure, which used to involve women lifting up their skirts and inserting themselves up to the waist in the grape must. Winemakers claim that this procedure replicates traditional winemaking procedures and should not be considered a new form of fortification. The EU court in the Hague expects to render its decision on the Sbuffo wines later this month.

Norsk Food

After a week in and around Oslo, I was surprised that the Norse seem be genuinely embarassed about their cuisine. Or at least many meals at this food conference I was attending were "Provencal lamb" and the like, served with ruddy southern wine. There were some seriously Norsk meals too though.

The best thing about Norwegian food is of course its simplicity, freshness, and then some seriously funky cheeses and pickled things. And fish, oh my. One lunch explained by Astri Ritterwold was sublime. Microthin crispy flat bread, gravlax, smoked mutton slices, stinky gamelost, cold slices of venison. Incredible cultured butter. And unctuous aquavit.

The one night we had to ourselves I ate at this charming Habsburg yellow inn from 1700, called Stortorvets Gjaestgiveri. Slices of raw reindeer that melt in the mouth, with a tart goat cheese and bitter greens. I doubt it was traditional, but really tasty. Then a whale steak on green pea puree with caramelized onions. It wasn't fishy as I expected, but sort of livery, in a pleasant way. Very dark, chewy, sort of like beef but without the same muscle striations. It probably would have been great with red wine, but I thought a Ringnes pilsener and aquavit made more sense. It did.

Overall the food was really quite remarkable, flat open-faced sandwiches with shrimp salad, really nice pate, pickled herring, beets, caviar paste in a tube. And that was for breakfast. The rye was amazing. If only one could find the like here. Gjetost is really an aquired taste, though I do like it. Something like a cross between caramel and cheese. But what I am truly looking forward to trying is a bit of stockfish I bought in the airport. Not bacalao, nor salted I think, just air dried cod, as was eaten through the middle ages for Lent. I will fill you in once I've figured out how to cook it, though actually I think it was sold and meant to be eaten as is, for a snack. Sort of like Japanese dried cuttle fish.

Well, if you have a chance, and a big wallet, because everything in Norway is perversely expensive, I can highly recommend it, especially for lovers of fish.

Omnivore 100

Kyla sent this, and of course I had to take the test. Most of these not only eaten, but have cooked.

This Omnivore 100 meme via Sam at Becks & Posh, in turn via Andrew at Very Good Taste.How It All Works:
1) Copy the list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.4) Optional: Post a comment at Very Good Taste, linking to your results
The 100

1. Venison – yup still some in my freezer which I butchered with some friends
2. Nettle tea – yup in Britain
3. Huevos rancheros – all the time
4. Steak tartare - ditto
5. Crocodile (have cooked alligator, does that count?]
6. Black pudding (Comes from heaven, had the best ever in Dublin last year)
7. Cheese fondue of course
8. Carp - Just a big gold fish. Sure
9. Borscht – Make it often, wearing a babuschka
10. Baba ghanoush – ditto, on the stove top, the eggplant, not the babushka
11. Calamari – plus whole baby octopodes, a few weeks ago
12. Pho – taught how to make it by a Vietneamese student of mine
13. PB&J sandwich – Are you kidding?
14. Aloo gobi – Among the few things my wife demands I cook
15. Hot dog from a street cart – dining al fresco
16. Epoisses – bien sur, very stinky
17. Black truffle - yes, freshly shaved, and white in Umbria, much tastier
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes – made it from blueberries as a kid
19. Steamed pork buns - yum
20. Pistachio ice cream – double yum, but not the green stuff
21. Heirloom tomatoes - sure
22. Fresh wild berries – all the time
23. Foie gras – seen it butchered here in Stockton too
24. Rice and beans – Red beans and ricely
25. Brawn or head cheese – Adore it, but haven’t found a head yet to make it
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper - yes, but not the whole thing. I did whizz some in a blender once, and a friend sipped it and nearly died.
27. Dulce de leche – takes a long time to make, but beautiful
28. Oysters – of course, Olympia my favorite
29. Baklava – make it and the phyllo sometimes
30. Bagna cauda – with cardoons
31. Wasabi peas – regular snack in my house
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl - yes, but it is grotesque
33. Salted lassi - ditto
34. Sauerkraut – will be making some again shortly
35. Root beer float – YUM-O
36. Cognac with a fat cigar - when I can afford it! Hennessy XO
37. Clotted Cream Tea – Yup, but what a way to ruin good tea
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O – I went to college, right?
39. Gumbo – Z’herbes served by the hands of Leah Chase, recently
40. Oxtail – von Suppe, just saying achsenswange excites me
41. Curried goat - yup in Jamaica
42. Whole insects – not yet, but I was given a box of crickettes that are on my desk now, so I guess I’ll have to taste them.
43. Phaal - yes, tasted it two times, going in and on the way out. Ouch
44. Goat's milk - yum, made into cheese too
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more – I’m sorry to say, yes.
46. Fugu - Nope
47. Chicken tikka masala - yup
48. Eel – I have a pet eel in the freezer, named Stanley.
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut – yes, though ours went out of business.
50. Sea urchin – yum, raw. I’ve stepped on them snorkelling too
51. Prickly pear – yes, only passable, saguaro syrup is interesting though
52. Umeboshi - yes
53. Abalone - just minutes out of the water. Pounded with a hammer.
54. Paneer – I was taught to make this by an Indian woman in the Bronx
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal – afraid so
56. Spaetzle – Fun to make, and say
57. Dirty gin martini – yes, made with my sweat socks
58. Beer above 8% ABV – OH Westvleteren in Belgium this spring
59. Poutine - OH, yes in Montreal
60. Carob chips - nope, but I’m going to look for some now. There are carob pods on my desk
61. S’mores - to perfection
62. Sweetbreads – breaded and fried
63. Kaolin - I nibble on it all the time in the pottery studio
64. Currywurst – In Germany last summer. Disgraceful.
65. Durian – Bring one to my frosh food class every year
66. Frogs’ legs – yes yum, and whole crunchy frog
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake - sure
68. Haggis – toasties in Edinbutter, my colleague serves it at every Robbie Burns party
69. Fried plantain - yum
70. Chitterlings or andouillette – had one in Arles that tasted like crap.
71. Gazpacho – red and white
72. Caviar and blini – yes, mine are pictured in the Reaktion catalogue, and will appear in Pancake any day now
73. Louche absinthe – Everyone knows I’m an addict
74. Gjetost or brunost - yes, going to Norway in a few weeks for the real thing
75. Roadkill – no, but I’m game. I guess it’s game.
76. Baijiu – yes, I blogged about it not that long ago
77. Hostess Fruit Pie - My mom gave them to me all the time
78. Snail – yes, from my own backyard
79. Lapsang Souchong – My favorite
80. Bellini – the drink and the painter
81. Tom Yum – Yum indeed. Siam Street’s is incendiary
82. Eggs Benedict – got to love it
83. Pocky – yes, but not very fond of it, my son disagrees
84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu - Yes in the Loire Valley
85. Kobe beef – Yes, though now it’s fashionable to say wagyu I think
86. Hare – yes, potted. So was I.
87. Goulash - yes, and am still astonished, it’s soup, not stew
88. Flowers – even those you’re not supposed to eat
89. Horse – yes, steaks from a horse butcher in Rome, and even shredded on a pizza
90. Criollo chocolate - yes
91. Spam – yes, I admit. Even Spam Lite on a whim
92. Soft shell crab - sure
93. Rose harissa – Not yet
94. Catfish – yes, fresh from Oak Park. Tasted like mud. Wonder why.
95. Mole poblano – Of course.
96. Bagel and lox – I’m a Jew.
97. Lobster Thermidor – yes, but I don’t get it.
98. Polenta – of course, even the Precolumbian pulmentum of millet
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee - yes
100. Snake - I’ve blogged this too, killed and cooked myself. Rattler.

So I got a 94. Nope I take that back. 95. I just ate one of the crickettes. Disgusting. But crunchy.